I have to be honest, today has been no level of productive. I went on a walk before it became really hot, but still came back drenched due to the humidity. That has been my crowning achievement for the day. I tried writing things but had to pretty much erase everything after lunch.
My mom is going in for surgery today. It is out patient surgery but it is to remove an additional lump on her arm. It is the same arm they had to remove a cancerous lump from earlier this year so her doctors find it worrisome. I know it will take a week for the analysis to come in and then a treatment plan to be determined if needed, but it has dominated my mind today.
I think because we so recently lost my brother it is hitting harder than usual. I know there is nothing that I can do at this moment but it doesn’t stop it from dominating my mind. as today is the day of surgery, I am letting it. Tomorrow I will work towards putting it out of my mind, but today I am just going to let things come. And even though I know you shouldn’t eat your feelings, tonight may not go according to the menu plan. Sometimes salad, no matter how good and well thought out, just isn’t comforting enough. I think moderation rather than good food choices may be the order of the day.
And so this is me today. It isn’t pretty, I grant you, but it is honest. There is no makeup and no fun snippets about my neighbors. Admittedly, I suspect some may be coming soon. There are three neighbors currently working on home renovations so the law of averages means that something will happen in the near future. As none of the three houses currently seeing work has been renovated since the 1970s I’m sure something odd will appear. As for me, I am going to see if I can get at least one productive thing done before the day ends if for no other reason than to think about something else for a while.