Weekly Weight: The December Break

For the past few years I have given myself the gift of skipping the scale for the month of December. It is a way to enjoy family time and friends without the added pressure of worrying about the scale. It is a gift for myself but it is also a gift for the people I am with. I still monitor what i eat, mostly by controlling my grazing and making certain to have a good meal before I actually go to a place where it is mostly snacks and appetizers. That way I can still have a small amount of what I want to taste, but am not facing temptation down while hungry.

Also it means that as I have no real dietary restrictions no one has to worry about what I can and can not eat. while i don’t mind counting my calories, I don’t want anyone else to worry about counting them for me. I personally don’t think my diet should be anyone else’s concern.

This year as I did add a little weight back when i went to help out my mother post surgery and then came back to a brand new scale which had the audacity to add on ten pounds that I didn’t realize my old and ailing scale shaved off for me, I was going to skip my no scale December so that I could keep better track of things.

And then i went home for Thanksgiving.

I know I joke about the butter explosion at the holiday and how it has shown on my skin. While I did indulge I actually did fairly well with my consumption. It was richer fare than i am used to that broke me out and left me craving raw veggies (I can’t get enough of raw spinach salads at the moment) but I did monitor my portion sizes and actually came home with the same weight as when I left, no loss, but no gain.

However I had a realization when I went home. Or maybe it was just the solidification of several separate trains of thought into one cohesive whole. Or maybe like staring at one of those old magic eye pictures and suddenly seeing the single image behind it.

However you want to phrase it, something clicked.

I love my family, I really do, but we have what I like to think of as different sectors. We have one sector that leans into the naturalistic hippy sort of vibe and one sector that is former and active military. We have the British sector (with a healthy Scottish bias) and the Quebecois sector that after a spate of older relatives deaths makes it more of a quadrant, but as they always add butter tarts and Tarte au Citron to the dinner table we will still call it a sector.

We also have a sector of the family that tends to focus more on appearance over everything else. (they are actually balanced by the University crew that cares more about what you know than what you look like, pretty much each sector of my family is balanced by an opposing one it seems. It can often make things very…interesting. Yeah, we’ll go with interesting.).

This trip home I ended up spending a lot more time with the appearance sector than I usually do. Spending time with them, I realized that my weight bothers them far more than it will ever bother me. And as I thought about it, I realize that the only complements I have ever received are when I have a full face of makeup up on and the only accomplishments they have ever said they were proud of involved me dropping a jean size. I also caught several glances at my plate while they often pushed a few untouched morsels around their plates.

Which quite frankly pissed me off.

It also made me want to double down on my portion size, eating just to spite them.

Which I actually caught myself doing and stopped.

It made me sit down and think about the concept of saboteurs. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some guilt you into eating something because they made it especially for you. Some insist that you clean your plate because there are starving people in Africa (or wherever your family claims starving people live when you won’t clean your plate. Oddly enough my Great Auntie Olive always used to say ‘There are starving people in Hell’ And in case you are squinching your eyes and tilting your head to figure out that bit of logic, apparently the punishment for wasting food in this life is starvation in the afterlife. At least in the Gospel According to Great Auntie Olive. I’m not sure how the clergy of any designated faith feels about the matter.)

For me one of my sabotages is the implication or accusation that I am not doing in my diet what others believe I should be doing. Rather than shame me into behaving it makes me want to mentally flip them off and double down on whatever I am eating at the time even if I know i don’t actually want any more.

It is something I know about myself so it is a sabotage i need to watch. Luckily I don’t see a lot of the people who fall into that family sector very often.

Which leads me to circle back to the original thought of this post, skipping December Weigh ins. While it is a nice gift to myself and to those around me (one less thing to worry/think about anyway), skipping December always has a practical purpose. It took me a while to realize this actually. Without the scale, I tend to focus more on how my body feels rather than the numbers.

Now I can’t go for too long without the scale, a month is about if before i start drifting into forgetting about eating correctly and lose the diet completely. However a month off lets me think about my body a bit clearer. while I still monitor calories it is at this time of year when traditional favorites come out and annual indulgences arrive that I start to realize that it isn’t just the weighing of ingredients that limits my portion size. My apititte has changed and my tastes have shifted. Something I might have once gorged upon I can only eat a smaller portion of without feeling ill because it is too rich for my system. or too salty or too sweet. It is with the month off of the scale that i listen to my body more.

And honestly that is a bigger gift than not causing my friends dinner party angst.

So this year I will be taking December off from the Scale. I will still check in each week with my weigh and my thoughts, but it will be January 6th when I step on the scale and start recording for a brand new year. For me the step back and internal evaluation will be a help as I move forward. I don’t know where you might be on your own weight loos or healthy living journey, but it is so easy to get so tangled up with just bits of everything that come at you from pretty much everywhere. Perhaps taking a breather might do you good as well. But it is your journey and you know it best. No judgement from me either way. It is a journey of individualized pathways and for me, I need to do an internal systems check before I step back on the steep slope of the pathway. Happy trails.

It’s Face Mask Friday with Dew of the Gods

I know, this Dew of the Gods Fijifuji Collagen Whip Mask is not a new to me mask,. I reviewed it a few weeks ago when I used and opened it for the first time. You can see that post here if you are interested. I have used this mask several times since then. I have to say there was something about the mask that made me think that it would dry out in the container rather quickly. Thus far that hasn’t happened. I know it has been open less than a month, so it really shouldn’t have dried out by now.

And it hasn’t.

However There was something about this clay mask that just looked as though it needed to be used in a timely manner. I suppose that applies to all skin care but when clay masks dry out you realize that clay is what they use to make pottery and old school mud bricks. I suppose technically they use mud for mud bricks, but i have had several dried out clay masks that make me think of bricks.

I have used this mask a number of times since my first use, so the container has been opened and closed several times. Which I think is important. It means that the mass has been exposed, at least as long as it takes to apply the mask and put the lid back on. So it hasn’t simply been sitting sealed on the shelf. Admittedly I have had masks dry out while still sitting sealed on the shelf. Which is why I try to go through them in an timely manner these days.

And actually that was one of the reasons I chose this mask today. Soon I will be taking out all of the partially used masks and I will go mask-tastic crazy in the run up to new year’s as I clear out the open and partially used sample sizes.

But I couldn’t resist using this again, as well as comparing it to the original opening use of the mask.

The container is a very lovely clear plastic that shows off the blue of the mask inside well. They contrasted it with the yellow of the lid. While attractive, it also seals really tightly which helps preserve the mask. Using it today, there has been no change since the first use. The Dew of the Gods Fijifuji Collagen Whip Mask applies smoothly and easily. It feels cool on the skin, smooths out with little effort and covers with not a lot of product.

At first the mask just feels cool, then it starts to tingle a little. I was worried that the tingling would grow more intense but it doesn’t. It does last though. The tingling remained at more or less the same level as it started. it was only as i was getting ready to wash it off that the tingling started to fade. I can’t actually decide if it is something in the mask that causes the tingling or if it is the mask drying out.

In the fifteen minutes that I wore the mask, it only partially dried out. And even then it wasn’t the intense chip me off with a stone chisel that some of the clay masks can get. I suppose that too argues for the longevity of the mask as well.

And I realize that this post seems intensely focused on the drying out of the mask. I’m sorry about that. I think I am so focused on that aspect because the container feels as though it is so much larger than my other clay masks and it seems to use so little with each use. While I love both of those factors, especially as i really like this face mask and how smooth it leaves my skin. I want it to last longer.

I also had to throw out two masks this morning when I went to look at my masks and plan my end of year clear out. So I suppose it is on my mind. I just hate wasting good product.

I’ll try to be less obsessive.

I do like this mask and my skin does feel great after using it. I won’t be using it for a while though as i descend into the land of clear outs. It was a good mask to use today though. It doesn’t dry all the way down but it also doesn’t drip, so I was able to lay back and sort of relax for the fifteen minutes that I wore the mask. Which was a nice change. Usually i do relax with the mask, however lately I have been reaching for masks that I can wear while either moving around the house or sitting at my desk. While this mask can be worn while in motion, even if it does look like a Meso-American death mask made of turquoise.

But today I took the fifteen minutes and used it to decompress. To be honest as much as I enjoyed the mask, having those 15 minutes to mentally relax and take a breather were worth far more than the skin benefits. Don’t get me wrong, I will always love the skin benefits and this Dew of the Gods Mask has them, but as far as self care goes, taking a little time to breath is priceless. And today, that’s what I got. Along with a does of whipped vitamins. I call that a win.

Hydro Gel Charcoal Eye Mask (1 Pair)

Weekly Weight: 234.4 Lbs

It is always a disheartening sight to see any gain, but this week, I kind of knew it was coming. Monday I had my walk in with no problem. Tuesday the rains descended. It is still raining which means that the park is flooded as well as the rain is falling. while I did get some indoor workouts in and I actually feel really good about them, the workouts I do in doors simply don’t burn the same level of calories.

In addition i am getting ready for Thanksgiving travel. This week that meant extending my time at the desk as I try to clear a few days where I am not going to be around next week. And to be honest, I go through this every year. Around Thanksgiving everyone realizes that the holidays aren’t just upcoming, they are neigh. The it seems like everyone looks at the list they want to get through before the end of the year, and then subtracts the number of days everyone will have off for holidays and starts to freak out.

I actually get more work sent my way the week before Thanksgiving than any other week in the year.

After thanksgiving the holiday parties start to take the edge off. Plus everyone feels like they have already assigned everything that is coming up. At least where I am concerned.

Which means basically more desk and telephone time this week than anything else. And no escape into a walk either due to rain.

And while understandable, i am trying not to let it get me down. I know why the gain is there and I know what to do to correct it. I just was hoping it wouldn’t happen before a major feasting holiday. I like to go into the holidays as light as possible and that just wasn’t happening this year with everything that happened in the past few months.

I’m going to try not to let it get me down.

The Stats:

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last weeks Weight: 232.8 lbs

This week’s Weight: 234.4 lbs

Change this week: +1.6 lbs

Lost thus far: 11.6 lbs

Not an inspiring sight when you see a plus sigh, but i will live and I will bounce back. Life and my weight loss journey will go on.

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The Daily: November 16th, 2022

Welcome to Wednesday my darlings. It has been a chilly and rainy one. I actually didn’t realize how dark and cloudy it became until I took my picture for this post. I like to use natural light so the makeup I am wearing can be seen a bit more as it would look in the real world and I had to crop out the indoor overhead light as it outshone the sun outside. Which wasn’t the case this morning. It was a little cloudy when I got up but there was a little sun peeking through. Which was nice, I like having daylight when I wake up. It makes me feel better in general.

Which is why that week running up to the time change hurts so badly for me. This year it didn’t help that I’m pretty sure there was some depression and I suppose we’ll call it trauma fatigue going on. This year has been a personally rough one for me and I think that in addition to the grief and mourning for the death of my brother there was just a sense that everything was piling on without end. This month I finally got enough of a breather from any new catastrophes that I actually feel more settled in my skin than I have in a while. Its a bit like taking a deep breath after you’ve finally taken off the body shapers you’ve been wearing for too long, Delicious and slightly off balance all at the same time.

I know that was an unexpectedly heavy mention for a daily post, but as I originally started this site as a way to be honest with myself about my weight and to think through the things I do and the products I use, I try to be as honest about everything here as i can. Only the names have been changed, or at least omitted. I promised my babydoll for one that I would never put his name in a post, hence why he is always referred to as Babydoll.

But to get back on track for the day, I tried a short walk while it was still sunny and the park was flooded so I returned home, warmed up and did a short indoor workout. That wind cut right through me so there were more cups of tea then I usually have in an afternoon. I sort of slosh when i walk at the moment. But I am warm. The clouds started piling in as I returned and look like they are here to stay a while. I think it is going to be indoor workouts the rest of the week. So, let’s see the look my computer screen was faced with today.

Today’s Look:

Primer: Dr. Brandt Pores No More Luminizer Primer

Foundation: Revolution Fast Base Foundation Stick

Bronzer: Iconic London Precision Duo Contour Pot

Blush/Highlight: Cotton Candy Champagne Blushlighter Palette from Beauty Bakerie

Setting Powder: Beauty Bakerie Flour Setting Powder in Oat

Eyeshadow: Revolution Beauty Mini Reloaded Palette

Mascara: Anastasia Beverly Hills Lash Brag Mascara

Brows: Hourglass Arch Brow Sculpting Pencil

Lips: Anastasia Beverly Hills Matte Lip

Today I wanted to see if I could go for a quick and easy look with no fuss. Also I was a bit in a rush and when i reached for the red lip I am currently testing out I couldn’t find it. (I actually put it away with the other lipsticks instead of leaving it out, imagine that.) It will be back tomorrow, but I did grab one of my favorite Neutral mattes from ABH to dash on quickly.

Apparently the time I set to do my makeup was the time people chose to sell me things at my front door. Today I received two church invitations, neither I’ve heard of actually, one very pushy internet provider option and someone wanting to buy the house.

I was a bit unintentionally mean with the realtor. He mentioned the housing shortage in our area and how houses like mine are being snapped up so now would be the perfect time to sell. I then asked him where I would move to if my house sold and there was a housing shortage. It seemed like a natural question but it seemed to traumatize him. which wasn’t really my intention. I gave him a shortbread cookie to make up for it. (I baked them last night).

Moving on. Everything worked well for a low key look today. The Dr. Brant lifted the Revolution foundation a bit. It is one of the more matte foundations I have and the luminizer under it did give it a bit of a glow which I liked.

In fact there really was only one thing i didn’t actually like today. It was the cream side of the Iconic London contour duo. The cream didn’t apply well. It was my first time trying the cream side so I’ll still play around with it. I tried applying with my finger and the product blended out completely. I then tried a brush and the way it blended sort of made my face look a little dirty. I got most of it off, but I am going to have to see if it is user error or product failure. I like the powder side of the duo but this cream is something else. And I do like a lot of cream products. This one I’ll have to work with.

I think I have the hang of the blush in the beauty bakery Blushlighter palette though. I dot it into place with a kabuki style brush and then blend out with the makeup sponge. I really like the subtle glow it gets with the blush alone. I did forget to use a highlighter though. But I already knew i liked their highlighters.

I went quick and easy with the eyeshadow today. I used the dark brown to blend out across the lid and then the pinkish shimmer on the inner corner and called it good. I dipped once in the pan for each shade and each eye. it gave me a really soft look for the day which I enjoy.

And then I locked down the face products with the setting powder. I am very much enjoying the Flour setting powder.

And that my darlings is me today. A bit more head space than makeup face today, but what can i say, my brain turned inwards rather than out. But now it is back to work for me. I hope you have a fabulous afternoon.

Weekly Weight: 232.8 lbs

There is something almost amusing about this cycle. I lost 4 lbs and then stayed the same weight for two weeks in a row, then I lost two pounds and again I find myself at the same weight I was last week. Perhaps next week will be another two pounds gone, but this week, I have the same weight as last week.

It was an interesting week for workouts though. We started the week with rain and flooding of the walking tail so I ended up with indoor strength training exercises and watching my calories like a hawk. Midweek instead of a normal workout i spend pretty much half a day clearing fallen tree branches post Tuesday night windstorm. I have no idea how many calories were actually burned during that but i can tell you even now I can feel the effort in my arms.

Luckily by Thursday the park was no longer flooded and I could walk again. I think if left to just the strength exercises there would have been no workouts at all because Thursday my arms felt like limp noodles. Today they are just a little bit achy so I am sticking with the walking trail.

it is a good reminder of why i need to get the strength training exercises on a regular basis. I need to work on my arm strength. Because I burn more calories walking, and because I prefer to walk, that is what i concentrate on. I have also been about two years without a gym. Part of that is because of the pandemic, but even though I have been considering going back to the gym, it is on the other side of town and to be honest, gas prices are what is keeping me from actually signing up again. The nearest gym is on the other side of town and at the moment I am trying to reduce the amount I drive, not increase it.

I think if I can get into a set routine then I will be fine. The trick is that I need to make it a habit, regardless of the weather.

I know this may sound like an odd thought pattern, but part of this is due to the reasons I am trying to lose weight in the first place. I am not trying to look good in a bikini. I don’t need to fit into a specific dress or look good for a wedding or a reunion. I want to lose weight to take pressure off of my knees so that when i am in my 80s and 90s I have a better chance of them still working reasonably well. I want to be a healthy weight so my organs don’t have as big a strain. Health is the main goal.

Don’t get me wrong a smaller waist line and an expansion of the clothes I can fit into is also a big draw, because there are so many clothing items I like that they just don’t make in my size that I would love to be able to wear.

the big draw however is health. I want to be healthy and have my knees work and have the rest of me work as well. And so I need to remember my arms and abs and other bits of me that need to get back into working order. I don’t like working them as much as I like walking, so I tend to push it to the side. Unfortunately I don’t think that is good for me, so I need to find a way to encourage non-walking workouts on non-rainy days without a gym.

Yeah, its the encouragement that i am going to have to work on. Because I have the work outs. I just need to get into the habit of using them.

Something to think about today and maybe start implementing in the morning. Implementing today is just not happening. But tomorrow, my arms might not hurt as much and I might be able to talk myself into it. For now though…

The Stats

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s Weight: 232.8 lbs

This week’s weight: 232.8 lbs

Change this week: 0.0 lbs

Lost thus far: 13.2 lbs

And so the journey continues…

Afternoon Tea: Pacific Coast Mint from The Art of Tea

I have been slowly working my way through the Starter Kit Box of teas from The Art of Tea. This Pacific coast Mint is the fifth tea out of this mixed pack of eight tea bags. The first tea I pulled out of the box was one that I had wanted to try for a while. The other three were more or less picked because they interested me.

I intended to pick the teas out of the sampler box at random, but instead I went for the ones I was ninety percent certain that I would like. And all four of the ones I tried prior I loved. This Pacific Coast Mint was one that I wasn’t really sold on.

I love peppermint. I actually adore almost anything peppermint. I stock up on peppermint scented products as soon as they are available each winter. I am pretty sure that my love of plumping lipstick is mostly because they usually smell of peppermint. I also grow peppermint and each year we dry bunches of it and drink it through the winter. It is my favorite thing to drink when my stomach is feeling a little unsettled actually. Not only is it great when you are sick, but it really helps with digestion and settling a belly too full of rich holiday foods.

Do you know what I don’t like?

Spearmint.

I absolutely despise spearmint.

The two ingredients in this Pacific Coast Mint are organic peppermint and organic spearmint.

So you can see why I was a little on the fence. Luckily my babydoll likes both. So I made up the tea when he was home. This blend is listed as sharp and smooth as well as caffeine free. The teabag, when taken out of the pouch was predominantly of spearmint. When brewed according to the suggested time, the scent mellowed out. The peppermint rose and the spearmint faded back a little.

I took a sip of the tea and found it was far to spearmint in flavor for me. So I passed it to my babydoll to drink the rest of the cup. After all what may not be to my taste may be to his and we order things for both of our palettes. I will say that the taste was both sharp and smooth in flavor from my taste.

My babydoll’s take on it was that it was a good blend of the two mints and was a good mint tea. I asked him if he would like me to order a canister of it and he said that if we didn’t grow our own mint it would be a good mint to order. Because we do grow and harvest our own mint (mostly because we planted it in a small bed and it ended up taking over completely so it is harvest the mint or watch it take over the world) this is not something we would order.

If you don’t grow your own mint and like both peppermint and spearmint then this might be a tea for you. we grow peppermint and I don’t like spearmint so this is a tea I will pass along to someone else. My babydoll will drink it if it is here, but we will not be adding a canister to our order.

Weekly Weight: 232.8 Lbs

I know in the grand scheme of things the scale doesn’t matter. That it is just a tool to help me stay on track and remind me to keep doing what needs to be done. Bu I have to say, I love the mornings where the numbers go down.

It just makes me happy inside.

I’ll remind myself more that it doesn’t matter when the numbers aren’t changing or are going up despite my best efforts but now, on a morning where they are once again going down, I am just going to revel in it.

This week has been a really hard week for me. It is a hard week for me every year to be honest. The thing is, I am not a person who gets up well when it is still dark. If I need to extend my day well past daylight and into the dark I am fine. I am even okay with stayuing up all night and into the following day. Provided i can catch up on sleep later.

It is just the waking up when it is still dark outside that I am not good with. I am the person who watches shows about Tudor England and sees the clocks the Monks adjusted because there were prayers that needed to be said in the daylight and prayers said in the darkness and thinks it was genius. Seriously it is probably the only thing I retained from the program because it knocked everything else out. They adjusted the timing mechanism of the clock to account for the amount of daylight, so time was adjusted to suit the natural world and not the other way round.

i know, I am on the verge of ranting. It is the week before daylight savings that kicked me hard this week. It does this every year. It gets increasingly darker when i wake up and then just when I think I can’t take it any more, poof, time changes and I once again start to get up with the sun.

and in cae you are wondering, I am grumpy in the spring when they take that hour away from me, but it doesn’t hurt as much because the days are lengthening and while the initial week is dark, the sun is in the process of lightening it so i don’t have as many issues in the spring.

I know, it might be more than you wanted to know and completely off topic. All i am saying it was a bad week and the scale still showed good numbers, so I am pleased.

The Stats:

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s weight: 235.7 lbs

This week’s Weight: 232.8 lbs

Lost this week: 2.9 lbs

Lost thus far: 13.2 lbs

And so we close out another week. It was a good one for me and I am hoping the coming one will be even better. Happy Friday everyone!

Weekly Weight: 235.7 Lbs

If you are looking at the scale and thinking, wait a minute, that is the same number as last week, I congratulate you on your excellent memory. It is the same number as last week. I suppose after the more than four pounds dropped last week it should be expected that there would be little change this week. That is generally what happens with me.

More than four pounds in one week is a really big number for me, so I wasn’t expecting a big change this week.

This week i kept on keeping on. I missed a few exercises. due to rain early in the week and yesterday my brain was focused on getting a story out of my head so I shorted pretty much everything, including exercise. But I did manage to keep a tight reign on my food.

I am back in the habit of using the free version of My Fitness Pal. I have started remembering to put in my food and exercise on a daily basis and that has really kept me on track. I wanted to get back into the habit of using the free version of the app before I tried out the paid version. Since I am now in the habit I will be starting my paid month long trial (that is me paying for the app instead of the free version, no one is actually paying me to try the app) in November. I think nit will be quite helpful going into the holidays actually and I am kind of excited to get that started.

Today it wasn’t that exciting to see the same number appear on the scale but it is understandable and not something I am overly worried about. I am hoping that if I keep doing what i know I should be doing, that number will change and I will be slowly easing my way into a healthy weight number.

And that is where I really want to be.

The Stats:

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s Weight: 235.7 lbs

This Week’s weight: 235.7 lbs

This week’s Change: No Change.

Lost over all: 10.3 lbs

and so we keep on. I know that I am doing the right things, I just need to have faith that the right things will eventually get me where I need to be. And if they don’t then i will go to my doctor and have a conversation about adjusting what is wrong so that I am doing right again. But for now, I understand why the scale didn’t move, even if it was disappointing. So minor disappointment but no anxiety over this week. It’s not fabulous, but it could be worse. have a great Friday everyone.

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Weekly Weight: 235.7 lbs

You have no idea how glad I am to see the scale go down like that this week. I don’t expect all of the extra weight to disappear like that and to be honest, I don’t expect to have as high a number of loss next week as I did this week.

With travel or holiday weight gain I seem to gain that weight back fairly quickly due to lack of my usual meal plan and exercise, but the weight I gain that quickly tends to come off fairly quickly as well. It is one of the reasons why I watch myself around the holidays, limiting the extravagances to what i really enjoy and staying on my healthy plan for the rest of the time. If I gain weight from the extravagances then it too comes off quickly.

while this weight wasn’t from holiday extravagances (and ten pounds was just the new scale correcting the measurements of the old one) I am very happy to see the weight start to come back off. It was actually more than I expected and I had to get off the scale, let it drop back to zero and get on again just to double check.

The numbers were the same and so the happy dance began. Personally I am taking this as my reward for not giving up when I gained that chunk of weight back. I am determined to get to a healthy weight. Set backs are going to happen because life is a very unpredictable journey. But those set backs are dealt with and the journey continues.

And yes I know it is just a number on a scale but it makes me fell very good when it goes down. I will be less obsessed with those numbers when my weight once again starts with a one instead of a two. until then, it is a tracking tool that I will use to the best of my ability without letting it rule and or dominate my thoughts. which is sometimes harder than others. But today I am happy and I will deal with any socio-cultural issues regarding weight at a later date. Today there is just victory in getting back to a healthier lifestyle.

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

Last Week’s Weight: 240.5 lbs

This Week’s weight: 235.7 lbs

Lost this week: 4.3 lbs

Lost thus far: 10.3 lbs

And so the journey continues.

Weekly Weight: Sometimes things are out of your control

this is one of the more disheartening posts I have ever written. But truth is truth and any long journey is going to have it’s ups and downs. For the past two weeks I have been home acting as a caregiver for my mother after she had her hand amputated due to Cancer. (this is the third time the cancer returned and there was no other real option. They got clear margins and she will have treatment but hopefully this will be the end of the cancer and repeated surgeries. I know she is utterly exhausted by the ordeal and ready to get back to living her life outside of a doctor’s office.)

what this meant for me is that my schedule was dictated by her recovery needs so there were no walks and no workouts. I managed some stretches while she was sleeping but space and the need for quiet so she could rest dictated a lot of my movements. Food was not planned by me either. There was food brought by her friends and her church. It was fantastic as much of the time I was too exhausted to cook major meals. I made breakfast and lunch based on what my mom wanted to eat and after she started feeling better I worked with her so she could make sure that everything was set up so that she could make her meals one handed.

i left to come home feeling good about the rate of her recovery and the set up she had. I also left knowing I probably gained about ten pounds. She didn’t have a scale in the house but I know how my clothes fit and I was pretty sure around ten pounds was accurate.

Then I got home.

While I was gone my babydoll had a couple of doctor’s visits. He likes to compare his weight on the home scale to the doctor’s office and see how accurate it is. Our scale is or rather was, older and we were pretty sure a replacement would bee needed soon. It turns out it was about ten pounds off the mark. So while I gained ten ish pounds the scale reflected a twenty ish pound gain.

I can’t lie, that was really hard to take.

But as disheartening as it is, life goes on. And I am not going to abandon my goal of reaching a healthy weight just because I had a setback. No matter how many times you get knocked down by life, you only really fail if you stop getting back up. And so I’m getting up and beginning again.

The Stats

Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs

This week’s weight: 240.5 lbs

Lost thus far: 5.5 lbs

I know I usually put the previous week’s weight but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m just going to move forward from this point and keep going. Because sometimes life is just life and you just have to get on with it.