It is always a disheartening sight to see any gain, but this week, I kind of knew it was coming. Monday I had my walk in with no problem. Tuesday the rains descended. It is still raining which means that the park is flooded as well as the rain is falling. while I did get some indoor workouts in and I actually feel really good about them, the workouts I do in doors simply don’t burn the same level of calories.
In addition i am getting ready for Thanksgiving travel. This week that meant extending my time at the desk as I try to clear a few days where I am not going to be around next week. And to be honest, I go through this every year. Around Thanksgiving everyone realizes that the holidays aren’t just upcoming, they are neigh. The it seems like everyone looks at the list they want to get through before the end of the year, and then subtracts the number of days everyone will have off for holidays and starts to freak out.
I actually get more work sent my way the week before Thanksgiving than any other week in the year.
After thanksgiving the holiday parties start to take the edge off. Plus everyone feels like they have already assigned everything that is coming up. At least where I am concerned.
Which means basically more desk and telephone time this week than anything else. And no escape into a walk either due to rain.
And while understandable, i am trying not to let it get me down. I know why the gain is there and I know what to do to correct it. I just was hoping it wouldn’t happen before a major feasting holiday. I like to go into the holidays as light as possible and that just wasn’t happening this year with everything that happened in the past few months.
I’m going to try not to let it get me down.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
Last weeks Weight: 232.8 lbs
This week’s Weight: 234.4 lbs
Change this week: +1.6 lbs
Lost thus far: 11.6 lbs
Not an inspiring sight when you see a plus sigh, but i will live and I will bounce back. Life and my weight loss journey will go on.
Welcome to Wednesday my darlings. It has been a chilly and rainy one. I actually didn’t realize how dark and cloudy it became until I took my picture for this post. I like to use natural light so the makeup I am wearing can be seen a bit more as it would look in the real world and I had to crop out the indoor overhead light as it outshone the sun outside. Which wasn’t the case this morning. It was a little cloudy when I got up but there was a little sun peeking through. Which was nice, I like having daylight when I wake up. It makes me feel better in general.
Which is why that week running up to the time change hurts so badly for me. This year it didn’t help that I’m pretty sure there was some depression and I suppose we’ll call it trauma fatigue going on. This year has been a personally rough one for me and I think that in addition to the grief and mourning for the death of my brother there was just a sense that everything was piling on without end. This month I finally got enough of a breather from any new catastrophes that I actually feel more settled in my skin than I have in a while. Its a bit like taking a deep breath after you’ve finally taken off the body shapers you’ve been wearing for too long, Delicious and slightly off balance all at the same time.
I know that was an unexpectedly heavy mention for a daily post, but as I originally started this site as a way to be honest with myself about my weight and to think through the things I do and the products I use, I try to be as honest about everything here as i can. Only the names have been changed, or at least omitted. I promised my babydoll for one that I would never put his name in a post, hence why he is always referred to as Babydoll.
But to get back on track for the day, I tried a short walk while it was still sunny and the park was flooded so I returned home, warmed up and did a short indoor workout. That wind cut right through me so there were more cups of tea then I usually have in an afternoon. I sort of slosh when i walk at the moment. But I am warm. The clouds started piling in as I returned and look like they are here to stay a while. I think it is going to be indoor workouts the rest of the week. So, let’s see the look my computer screen was faced with today.
Today I wanted to see if I could go for a quick and easy look with no fuss. Also I was a bit in a rush and when i reached for the red lip I am currently testing out I couldn’t find it. (I actually put it away with the other lipsticks instead of leaving it out, imagine that.) It will be back tomorrow, but I did grab one of my favorite Neutral mattes from ABH to dash on quickly.
Apparently the time I set to do my makeup was the time people chose to sell me things at my front door. Today I received two church invitations, neither I’ve heard of actually, one very pushy internet provider option and someone wanting to buy the house.
I was a bit unintentionally mean with the realtor. He mentioned the housing shortage in our area and how houses like mine are being snapped up so now would be the perfect time to sell. I then asked him where I would move to if my house sold and there was a housing shortage. It seemed like a natural question but it seemed to traumatize him. which wasn’t really my intention. I gave him a shortbread cookie to make up for it. (I baked them last night).
Moving on. Everything worked well for a low key look today. The Dr. Brant lifted the Revolution foundation a bit. It is one of the more matte foundations I have and the luminizer under it did give it a bit of a glow which I liked.
In fact there really was only one thing i didn’t actually like today. It was the cream side of the Iconic London contour duo. The cream didn’t apply well. It was my first time trying the cream side so I’ll still play around with it. I tried applying with my finger and the product blended out completely. I then tried a brush and the way it blended sort of made my face look a little dirty. I got most of it off, but I am going to have to see if it is user error or product failure. I like the powder side of the duo but this cream is something else. And I do like a lot of cream products. This one I’ll have to work with.
I think I have the hang of the blush in the beauty bakery Blushlighter palette though. I dot it into place with a kabuki style brush and then blend out with the makeup sponge. I really like the subtle glow it gets with the blush alone. I did forget to use a highlighter though. But I already knew i liked their highlighters.
I went quick and easy with the eyeshadow today. I used the dark brown to blend out across the lid and then the pinkish shimmer on the inner corner and called it good. I dipped once in the pan for each shade and each eye. it gave me a really soft look for the day which I enjoy.
And then I locked down the face products with the setting powder. I am very much enjoying the Flour setting powder.
And that my darlings is me today. A bit more head space than makeup face today, but what can i say, my brain turned inwards rather than out. But now it is back to work for me. I hope you have a fabulous afternoon.
There is something almost amusing about this cycle. I lost 4 lbs and then stayed the same weight for two weeks in a row, then I lost two pounds and again I find myself at the same weight I was last week. Perhaps next week will be another two pounds gone, but this week, I have the same weight as last week.
It was an interesting week for workouts though. We started the week with rain and flooding of the walking tail so I ended up with indoor strength training exercises and watching my calories like a hawk. Midweek instead of a normal workout i spend pretty much half a day clearing fallen tree branches post Tuesday night windstorm. I have no idea how many calories were actually burned during that but i can tell you even now I can feel the effort in my arms.
Luckily by Thursday the park was no longer flooded and I could walk again. I think if left to just the strength exercises there would have been no workouts at all because Thursday my arms felt like limp noodles. Today they are just a little bit achy so I am sticking with the walking trail.
it is a good reminder of why i need to get the strength training exercises on a regular basis. I need to work on my arm strength. Because I burn more calories walking, and because I prefer to walk, that is what i concentrate on. I have also been about two years without a gym. Part of that is because of the pandemic, but even though I have been considering going back to the gym, it is on the other side of town and to be honest, gas prices are what is keeping me from actually signing up again. The nearest gym is on the other side of town and at the moment I am trying to reduce the amount I drive, not increase it.
I think if I can get into a set routine then I will be fine. The trick is that I need to make it a habit, regardless of the weather.
I know this may sound like an odd thought pattern, but part of this is due to the reasons I am trying to lose weight in the first place. I am not trying to look good in a bikini. I don’t need to fit into a specific dress or look good for a wedding or a reunion. I want to lose weight to take pressure off of my knees so that when i am in my 80s and 90s I have a better chance of them still working reasonably well. I want to be a healthy weight so my organs don’t have as big a strain. Health is the main goal.
Don’t get me wrong a smaller waist line and an expansion of the clothes I can fit into is also a big draw, because there are so many clothing items I like that they just don’t make in my size that I would love to be able to wear.
the big draw however is health. I want to be healthy and have my knees work and have the rest of me work as well. And so I need to remember my arms and abs and other bits of me that need to get back into working order. I don’t like working them as much as I like walking, so I tend to push it to the side. Unfortunately I don’t think that is good for me, so I need to find a way to encourage non-walking workouts on non-rainy days without a gym.
Yeah, its the encouragement that i am going to have to work on. Because I have the work outs. I just need to get into the habit of using them.
Something to think about today and maybe start implementing in the morning. Implementing today is just not happening. But tomorrow, my arms might not hurt as much and I might be able to talk myself into it. For now though…
I know in the grand scheme of things the scale doesn’t matter. That it is just a tool to help me stay on track and remind me to keep doing what needs to be done. Bu I have to say, I love the mornings where the numbers go down.
It just makes me happy inside.
I’ll remind myself more that it doesn’t matter when the numbers aren’t changing or are going up despite my best efforts but now, on a morning where they are once again going down, I am just going to revel in it.
This week has been a really hard week for me. It is a hard week for me every year to be honest. The thing is, I am not a person who gets up well when it is still dark. If I need to extend my day well past daylight and into the dark I am fine. I am even okay with stayuing up all night and into the following day. Provided i can catch up on sleep later.
It is just the waking up when it is still dark outside that I am not good with. I am the person who watches shows about Tudor England and sees the clocks the Monks adjusted because there were prayers that needed to be said in the daylight and prayers said in the darkness and thinks it was genius. Seriously it is probably the only thing I retained from the program because it knocked everything else out. They adjusted the timing mechanism of the clock to account for the amount of daylight, so time was adjusted to suit the natural world and not the other way round.
i know, I am on the verge of ranting. It is the week before daylight savings that kicked me hard this week. It does this every year. It gets increasingly darker when i wake up and then just when I think I can’t take it any more, poof, time changes and I once again start to get up with the sun.
and in cae you are wondering, I am grumpy in the spring when they take that hour away from me, but it doesn’t hurt as much because the days are lengthening and while the initial week is dark, the sun is in the process of lightening it so i don’t have as many issues in the spring.
I know, it might be more than you wanted to know and completely off topic. All i am saying it was a bad week and the scale still showed good numbers, so I am pleased.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
Last Week’s weight: 235.7 lbs
This week’s Weight: 232.8 lbs
Lost this week: 2.9 lbs
Lost thus far: 13.2 lbs
And so we close out another week. It was a good one for me and I am hoping the coming one will be even better. Happy Friday everyone!
If you are looking at the scale and thinking, wait a minute, that is the same number as last week, I congratulate you on your excellent memory. It is the same number as last week. I suppose after the more than four pounds dropped last week it should be expected that there would be little change this week. That is generally what happens with me.
More than four pounds in one week is a really big number for me, so I wasn’t expecting a big change this week.
This week i kept on keeping on. I missed a few exercises. due to rain early in the week and yesterday my brain was focused on getting a story out of my head so I shorted pretty much everything, including exercise. But I did manage to keep a tight reign on my food.
I am back in the habit of using the free version of My Fitness Pal. I have started remembering to put in my food and exercise on a daily basis and that has really kept me on track. I wanted to get back into the habit of using the free version of the app before I tried out the paid version. Since I am now in the habit I will be starting my paid month long trial (that is me paying for the app instead of the free version, no one is actually paying me to try the app) in November. I think nit will be quite helpful going into the holidays actually and I am kind of excited to get that started.
Today it wasn’t that exciting to see the same number appear on the scale but it is understandable and not something I am overly worried about. I am hoping that if I keep doing what i know I should be doing, that number will change and I will be slowly easing my way into a healthy weight number.
And that is where I really want to be.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
Last Week’s Weight: 235.7 lbs
This Week’s weight: 235.7 lbs
This week’s Change: No Change.
Lost over all: 10.3 lbs
and so we keep on. I know that I am doing the right things, I just need to have faith that the right things will eventually get me where I need to be. And if they don’t then i will go to my doctor and have a conversation about adjusting what is wrong so that I am doing right again. But for now, I understand why the scale didn’t move, even if it was disappointing. So minor disappointment but no anxiety over this week. It’s not fabulous, but it could be worse. have a great Friday everyone.
this is one of the more disheartening posts I have ever written. But truth is truth and any long journey is going to have it’s ups and downs. For the past two weeks I have been home acting as a caregiver for my mother after she had her hand amputated due to Cancer. (this is the third time the cancer returned and there was no other real option. They got clear margins and she will have treatment but hopefully this will be the end of the cancer and repeated surgeries. I know she is utterly exhausted by the ordeal and ready to get back to living her life outside of a doctor’s office.)
what this meant for me is that my schedule was dictated by her recovery needs so there were no walks and no workouts. I managed some stretches while she was sleeping but space and the need for quiet so she could rest dictated a lot of my movements. Food was not planned by me either. There was food brought by her friends and her church. It was fantastic as much of the time I was too exhausted to cook major meals. I made breakfast and lunch based on what my mom wanted to eat and after she started feeling better I worked with her so she could make sure that everything was set up so that she could make her meals one handed.
i left to come home feeling good about the rate of her recovery and the set up she had. I also left knowing I probably gained about ten pounds. She didn’t have a scale in the house but I know how my clothes fit and I was pretty sure around ten pounds was accurate.
Then I got home.
While I was gone my babydoll had a couple of doctor’s visits. He likes to compare his weight on the home scale to the doctor’s office and see how accurate it is. Our scale is or rather was, older and we were pretty sure a replacement would bee needed soon. It turns out it was about ten pounds off the mark. So while I gained ten ish pounds the scale reflected a twenty ish pound gain.
I can’t lie, that was really hard to take.
But as disheartening as it is, life goes on. And I am not going to abandon my goal of reaching a healthy weight just because I had a setback. No matter how many times you get knocked down by life, you only really fail if you stop getting back up. And so I’m getting up and beginning again.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
This week’s weight: 240.5 lbs
Lost thus far: 5.5 lbs
I know I usually put the previous week’s weight but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m just going to move forward from this point and keep going. Because sometimes life is just life and you just have to get on with it.
It isn’t a big loss I will grant you that, but it is a loss. And that makes me happy. It makes me happy for a couple of reasons actually. The first is simply that it is another sliver, no matter how small, of weight off my body. While a small sliver all of those slivers add up. So even the small ones are worthy of note. The second reason is that it is still weight loss during stress. And that is no small feat. the third reason is that it is a loss prior to me leaving home for a bit. Next Friday Morning I will be heading out of town. while I will probably weigh in on Thursday morning just so I know what I weighed before I left, there is a part of me that will think, Oh it was a Thursday morning which means it wasn’t a full week so ot doesn’t really count.
I know that’s silly. You know that is silly, it is after all only one day. But in the back f my brain I know that is what I will think. So I am extra glad that this official Friday morning weigh in was less than last Friday’s official weekly Weigh in. If that makes sense. It makes me feel good that I consistently lost a little bit of weight each week even though this entire month has been insane. It is a great mental boost and honestly that mental boost means more to me than the 0.2 lbs of actual loss.
I know that sounds strange but even though there is a a lot of physical effort that goes into weight loss a lot of it is a mental game. You have to incorporate new activities and adjust your way of thinking so the effort becomes both habit and something you view as ‘worth it’ even on days when the scale isn’t moving. This may be a small weight loss but it is a huge mental win for me. It is also nice knowing that i will be leaving home consistently losing weight for a few weeks in a row. And for my head space, that is priceless.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
Last Week’s Weight: 219.4 lbs
This Week’s Weight: 219.2 lbs
Lost this Week: 0.2 lbs
Lost thus far: 26.8 lbs
And so we continue forward. I’ll check in next Thursday with my weight just so that I know what it is before I leave. But right now, I am feeling pretty good about where things stand. My goal was to hold my own while I tried to keep the world from going off the rails and I ended up losing a little bit of weight as well. Not too shabby.
I am a big fan of sleep masks. I have, for most of my life, had trouble sleeping. Insomnia and I are old friends. While I do have methods of dealing with insomnia, in general I am also a light sleeper. So even when I find sleep I can often be startled out of it.
One of the things that does wake me up is changes in light. while we live in a fairly quiet neighborhood and are far enough back from main roads that the sound of traffic is dimmed, we have a couple of neighbors who work different schedules and are moving about when we are asleep. And the lights flashing in my windows, despite the heavy curtains, can wake me up. It isn’t so much that it is bright, it is more the change in the light that wakes me up. Some part of my brain senses the change and wakes me up.
The simplest non drug related fix is a sleep mask.
I know this The Word Woke Cool Steam Eye Mask is a bit extra but when I saw it I couldn’t resist trying it out. I believe it was an item in a subscription box recently (either IPSY or Boxy, not sure which or if it was both) but I picked it up in the IPSY Store simply because I wanted to try it.
With Sleep masks, I prefer either silk or satin because they are soft against the skin. Cotton can be fine, but basically I look for a soft fabric that isn’t scratchy and can be worn comfortably. I know it is a wide range. As long as the fabric is soft I am okay. I do find that the satin and silk ones bend more easily than the others, ae less stiff and more likely to sort of mold to my head to help with the light blocking issues.
The Word Woke Eye Mask is Satin and it conforms well to my head. It seems well made and like it will last a while. In addition to the usual masking parts it has pockets for either the heating packs or the cooling ones. This doesn’t prevent it from being used on it’s own as just a sleep mask. I know that sounds odd, but I was worried that they would be so focused on the bells and whistles of the heating and cooling that comfortable for sleep might take a back seat. It does not.
The biggest feature i look for is actually not material based. It is a very simple adjustable strap. Not all sleep masks come with this, most in fact just have some form of elasticized band. while this is easier and cheaper for the companies to use, it also puts a time limit on the length of time the mask can be used. I use my sleep mask every night. Over time, that simple elastic stretches out and the mask will become too loose to wear even if the other materials are wearing fine. with the adjustable strap you can not only adjust it to fit your head comfortably while you sleep, but as the elastic of the band starts to have more give in it and looseness, you can tighten it so that it still fits comfortably.
To be honest if there is one thing I would advise anyone looking for a sleep mask to look for it is the adjustability of the band.
I am pleased to say that this mask has an adjustable strap. I was able to make certain it fit me snuggly but not too snuggly and was quite comfortable wearing it to sleep.
The Hot and Cold gels have also been useful. The Cold gels are your standard gel bead filled pouch. They are smaller so they fit into the pockets of the sleep mask which actually makes them better in my opinion. I have several gel masks and will use them throughout the summer to help bring down the putty eyes caused by allergens. The problem with those masks is that they don’t always fit my nose well or they are too cold against the space between my brows. That can actually give me a headache. These pouches fit over the eyes, therefore the cold is directed towards the eyes.
The Steam Session pouches, likewise fit into the pockets of the mask well. They remain dormant until the pouch is opened and then warm up 20 seconds after removal, which lets you get them into the eye mask without wasting heat. Then they stay warm for about 20 minutes. They are unscented and very reminiscent of the Pop Mask heated masks. Those masks send me to sleep very easily and this also works in that capacity. It also has the benefit of being in my sleep mask so I am already for sleep when I put it on.
Knowing they help send me to sleep, I tried these out before bed and had a very pleasant night ‘s sleep. I left the patches in when I fell asleep. They were cold in the morning but there was no issue with them staying. I didn’t have to wake back up to remove them.
I’ll admit that compared to my other sleep masks, this is a little bit extra. But I don’t mind that. The cold gels are reusable and will last a while, at least as long as I have the mask I am guessing. The Steam Session packs are disposable, which isn’t the greatest, but understandable. I would prefer if it was a reusable something I could put in the microwave or something as I put the cold gels in the fridge.
A refill pack of the Steam Session Packs can be purchased for $8.99 (for a 5 pack). while I like them, I think repurchasing them may be a treat rather than something I keep on hand for routine use. I like them, I just don’t like the fact that they are single use products. And to be honest, because I like the heated element so much, I may look for something reusable to take the place of the packets.
Over all though, I am very pleased with this purchase and anticipate using this mask and is associated parts for a long time to come.
Nope, it is not a mistake. This scale looks exactly as it did last week. I think that while I have now gotten back to more regular habits, my exercise is still slowly getting back to normal too so it is slowly balancing out. The first part of the week was slow, exercise wise and I had to ease myself back into it.
Now I am more or less back to the level I was before I got sick, so hopefully that means that next week there will be some improvement. At least that is the plan. As of now both food and exercise have resumed normal mode so I have high hopes.
Either way I am just glad that I didn’t gain anything while this whole mess was going on. I’ll only worry if the scale stays in one place too long. Two weeks, especially this two weeks, at the same weight is not a major cause for concern.
Plus I am celebrating the little victories this week. I went on a normal walk without wheezing half way through. Bending over doesn’t make me completely out of breath and that persistent cough that woke me up in the middle of the night for the past few weeks is gone completely.
In fact Wednesday I even chased a runaway dog named Peanut around the neighborhood to catch him for my elderly neighbor. I was out of breath after that (as well as sweating profusely) but it was from running around after a Jack Russell on a tear and yelling “Peanut” at the top of my lungs, so that was understandable. And I recovered fairly easily. I wasn’t wheezing for hours afterwards as I would have a week earlier.
Somedays, you take the little victories.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
Last week’s Weight: 221.2 lbs
This week’s Weight: 221.2 lbs
Lost this week: 0.0 lbs
Lost thus far: 24.8 lbs
And so life continues on. It is just putting one foot in front of the other. And being grateful when the steps aren’t shaky. Another week ends and another week begins. And as always I hope next week will be better than the one before. I hope the same for you too.
I admit, it was nice to see the numbers descend, even if it was just by a little bit. This week had ups and downs. We started with humidity that made you drink each breath and start to google rain dances just to get the moisture out of the air for a bit. Followed by periodic rains that would send pounding torrential rain for about five minutes and then abruptly stop like someone shut off a tap.
Maybe it was a faulty rain dance.
Then there was my babydoll’s rescheduled surgery. It went really well, but he did need two days of extra attention. so normality went out the door.
I did use the ab wheel this week though and I have to say, for something that looks a bit like a kids toy, it is quite the work out. I am slowly gaining confidence with it. Each time I use it without losing control and smacking my head into the mats gives me a bit more confidence. I don’t know why that is my main fear since that isn’t really logical, but it is. I’m working on it. And each time it doesn’t happen helps. My belly still looks like a jiggly pudding but I can certainly feel the after effects of using it in my abs. while my midsection may disagree, I’m calling that a good thing.
As for the My Fitness Pal, I did miss a few days of meal recording this week. I admit when my schedule gets knocked out of whack I tend to guestimate calories more than anything other time. I think it is because when i am working I have my phone on the desk so it is easy to record breakfast just before i start work and lunch just after I come back from eating it and restart my work. But Thursday, once things settled down again and I was back at the desk, the habit kicked back in automatically so I am really happy to see that the habit is sticking.
Next week I will be reviewing the month with the free version of the My Fitness Pal and then starting on a paid subscription to see the difference and which one I like better. I’m sure it is a great system but sometimes I find that the extras a subscription gives me aren’t things I use and that the free version is all I need. Other times I find the extras fabulous and don’t want to give them up once I’ve tried them. I’ve used the free version of the My Fitness Pal off and on for quite a few years now so it will be interesting for me to do the comparison. Hopefully you will find it interesting too. And then we can all learn something.
Starting Weight: 246.0 lbs
Last Week’s Weight: 222.2 lbs
This week’s weight: 221.8 lbs
Lost this week: 0.4 lbs
Lost thus far: 24.2 lbs
I know it wasn’t a lot of weight lost this week, but it was some. After the super stress gain of last week it is nice to see that there is once again a downward slope to the graph. Like any long haul effort, there are ups and downs, wins and losses. I know this and i accept it , but I just prefer the wins, however small. And so we start Friday. I have a small but important win under my belt, even if that belt doesn’t feel any looser and I feel good about going into the last day of the week. I hope you have a fantastic one.